TNA Impact Report – 3/1/16

We start off with an opening video looking back at last week when Rockstar Spud helped Matt Hardy defeat Ethan Carter III in the cage match, then we see Matt and his entourage backstage enthusiastically putting Spud over for his actions.
We are in the fourth of TNA’s five week run in the UK, and there’s no time to waste, we go right into our opening match, and it’s a good one!
Kurt Angle vs Bobby Roode

They waste no time, no feeling out, they go right to the action with a fast-paced exchange that Angle comes out on top of.  Roode backs Angle to the corner, but Angle takes Roode right back to the mat.  Roode shoots Angle to the ropes and drives a knee into the midsection for a couple of quick 2 counts.  Roode keeps up the pressure on the midsection with more kicks, then a series of rolling vertical suplexes and a quick cover for 2.  Roode locks Angle down in a rear chinlock, Angle gets free, and they take each other out with a double clothesline.  Angle is up first and hits a series of rolling German suplexes, Roode escapes a Hacker Slam attempt and goes for a Roode Bomb, Angle slips out of that and catches Roode in the ankle lock.  Roode is caught right in the middle of the ring, but kicks Angle off and then rams him shoulder first into the post in the corner.  Roode with a schoolboy rollup and then gets the Crippler Crossface.  Angle gets Roode’s ankle and uses it to torque out of the hold and reverse back to the ankle lock.  Roode rolls through and gets Angle back in the crossface, Angle rolls to a sitting cradle for 2, Roode reverses to a crucifix for 2, and he gets Angle back in the crossface.  Angle rolls backward over Roode, hits the Hacker slam, and Roode kicks out at 2.  Angle goes for the anklelock again, Roode hits an enziguiri, hits the Roode Bomb, and covers for another 2.  Wow, this is a great match!  Roode goes for another Roode Bomb, Angle rolls out and catches the anklelock, Roode fights like hell to get out or get to the ropes, but Angle grapevines the leg and Roode is forced to tap out.
Winner: Kurt Angle
That was an absolutely excellent match, just really good professional wrestling between two of the best wrestlers in the world.  They embrace after the match, and Roode gets a microphone as we go to commercial.
Okay, we’re back from commercial, and Roode says there’s no shame in losing to the best wrestler of all time.  Roode says on behalf of everyone that they want to thank him for what he’s done for them, the company, and also for himself.  James Storm comes out as well to join in the celebration, and he just wants to say that, on behalf of two TNA originals, he wants to thank a TNA legend.  Angle’s knowledge is worth millions of dollars, but his friendship has bee priceless.  Roode and Storm pull a couple of beers out of a bag for themselves, then they have a half gallon of milk for Kurt, and tell him to chug.  Angle does, and he says he has one match left against Bobby Lashley, but the one match he wants to see more than that is Beer Money against the Wolves.

This leads to the Wolves coming out and shaking hands with everybody, then Davey gets a mic and says that wrestling has been the one constant thing in my life, and the one guy who has inspired and motivated him and taught him he could push through everything to be the best he could be is Kurt Angle.  Davey hugs Angle, and he says that if the fans want to see the Wolves take on Beer Money for the TNA World Tag Team Title, he says let’s do it.  Eddie gets a mic and says he thinks it’d be a good idea to keep the briefcase because they’re going to beat them and prove that they’re not only the greatest tag team today, but the greatest in TNA history.  Storm says they’re not here to prove they’re the best team in wrestling today, they’re here to reinforce it.  Storm tells the Wolves to shine those belts up, because next week, we’re looking at the new TNA World Tag Team Champions.  The two teams shake hands, and it looks like a true tag team dream match is on!
We come back from commercial, and Matt Hardy is coming to the ring with his entourage of Reby Sky and Tyrus.  He went into that cage with one mission, and that was to win.  He beat EC3 again, and he’s done it so many times it’s starting to get boring.  Matt is done with EC3, he is no longer the #1 contender, he had his mandatory rematch, and he will never wrestle EC3 again, he is on the outside looking in forever because Matt Hardy owns EC3.  Every time EC3 made a move, he was two moves ahead.  He does have to give a special shout out to the man who helped put him in checkmate last week.  A man EC3 abused, a man everyone will call a sellout because he took Matt Hardy’s money, a man who left this city and joined a winning team and a family that cares about him, and that man is Rockstar Spud.
Spud comes out in his new evil black clothes and leather jacket, and he smiles at his new friends as he walks to the ring with a new confidence on his face.  Sure enough, the fans inform Spud that he sold out, but Spud says they would have sold out too if they’d been living in this dump his entire life.  One year ago in this ring, he was left bloody, battered, disheveled, and with his head shaved by Ethan Carter III, and it’s just like the British public to jump on the latest flavor of the month.  They stand here and disrespect one of their own by chanting for EC3, The fans were never there for him when he needed them because they’re jealous that he landed his dream job three years ago, he’s living the life of a hero, he’s a national treasure, and the fans are home wishing they could be a star just like him.  What he did to Ethan was just good, old-fashioned revenge, and he did the right thing, which was taking from him what he’s always wanted, what he craves, and that’s the TNA World Title.  It eats him alive that the TNA World Champion is Matt Hardy, and he stands here to dedicate his life to the family and Matt Hardy Brand, his beautiful wife Reby, (he turns briefly to Tyrus and pauses, then turns away) and his adorable son Maxel, because Matt Hardy is a champion that this company needs and has always deserved.  Spud tells Matt they’ve done it: they got rid of the cancer in the Impact Wrestling…

Spud is cut off by EC3’s entrance music, and EC3 rushes the ring with a chair, lays Tyrus out, and Matt backjumps him.  Matt goes for a Twist of Fate, but EC3 clotheslines him into next week.  Hardy bails out of the ring, Spud attacks Ec3 from behind, and EC3 no-sells and slowly turns around to glare a hole through Spud’s skull.  Spud runs for his life, and the entire Matt Hardy entourage takes off up the entryway.  EC3 tells Spud no match, no referee, tonight, he challenges Spud to a fight, and he’s happy to be right here in Birmingham because these people have seen so much of Spud’s ugly face his entire life that they’ll have no trouble helping the coroner identify the body.
Gail Kim is backstage, and she gave Maria the chance to be the miracle of the Knockouts division, but she showed that she’s all about herself, and she’s going to the ring to call her out for a fight.
We see a promo video for Decay, then we go backstage where Matt Hardy is yelling at Dixie that this is all her fault for not firing EC3 like he told her to.  Dixie says it’s Matt’s fault for manipulating, and she can’t believe Spud.  He says not to get on him after everything EC3 has done to him, and Dixie says he’s right, she’s going to wash her hands of this, and the fight with Ethan tonight will be unsanctioned.
No DQ Streetfight: Abyss vs Jimmy Havoc
Okay, British Guy has a name now.  It’s funny, he actually reminds me a lot of an English Jimmy Jacobs.  Anyway, Havoc goes right after Abyss and dropkicks him to the floor, but he tries a dive through the ropes and plows right into a trash can that Abyss pitched at his head.  Crazzzzzzzzzzzzy Steve and Rosemary set up a table at ringside and Abyss tries to chokeslam Havoc through it, but Havoc fights his way out and…gets distracted by Steve and Rosemary, allowing Abyss to hit him from behind and smash his face into the ring steps.  Abyss gets ahold of a cheese grater and tries to use it to parmesan Jimmy’s head, but Havoc fights that off, so Abyss gets another table and sets it up in the corner.  Unfortunately, he takes too long and Havoc takes the cheese grater to Abyss’ ding ding, then rings his bell over and over with shots from a trash can.  That’s good enough for a 2 count on the big man, but he gets distracted by Rosemary trying to go to the top and Steve swings a kendo stick at him.  Havoc catches the kendo stick and kicks Steve away, but Abyss throws a chair at Havoc’s head and he falls off the top rope and through the table at ringside.  Rosemary gleefully hands Janice to Abyss, but Havoc ducks the swing and it takes a chunk out of the table instead.  Havoc fires back on Abyss, dropkick him through the table, and covers for 2.  Steve and Rosemary look unhappy at ringside, and their mood probably doesn’t improve when Havoc pulls a barbed wire board out from under the ring and slides it into the warzone that broke out between the ropes.  Now Havoc has Janice and he winds up for a big shot, but Abyss goozles Havoc and goes for a chokeslam.  Havoc gets out of that and tries to cave Abyss’ head in with a kendo stick, then he hits the ropes and runs right into a Black Hole Slam that drops him right on the barbed wire board.  That’s all she wrote for Jimmy Havoc The British Guy.
Winner: Abyss
Awesome brawl, Jimmy Havoc looked really good and I hope this is a precursor to more regular appearances.
We see a video package hyping the Mike Bennett-Drew Galloway match, and we go to commercial.
Ethan Carter III is backstage saying he gives Spud credit for waiting an entire year to get revenge, and says he’s not a lion, tiger, or gazelle, he’s a cow standing in the middle of the road as a truck approaches him.  He took Spud’s hair last year, and this year he’s taking away Spud’s last breath.
Gail Kim comes to the ring and says she wants to talk about someone who’s really bothering her, and that’s Maria.  The Knockouts have always been about being the best at what they do, and that’s wrestling.  She didn’t get into the business to be famous, she did it because she loves wrestling and she’s willing to do what it takes to raise the bar.  She will sacrifice her body to raise that bar, and Maria had the opportunity to do the same at Lockdown, but she showed that she’s all talk and no action.  Nobody wants to see Maria talk, they want to see her fight, so she wants Maria to come out here right now.
Maria takes her time, but finally comes out and asks if everyone wants to see her fight.  Of course the fans do, so Maria says no, she’s going to stand there until she finishes talking.  Gail is proud of being a wrestler, but Maria is proud of the lesson she taught her.  She couldn’t cross the line by stepping into that ring at Lethal Lockdown, because that would make her just like Gail, and she’s nothing like Gail.  However, Gail wants to be just like her.  Gail says she doesn’t want that because Maria’s a crazy-ass bitch, and Maria responds by pointing out that she married a celebrity chef and had the wedding televised for the world to see, and it just screamed, “Look at me, I’m Gail Kim!”  Maria’s happy to be a celebrity, she was on Celebrity Apprentice with the great entertainer Donald Trump, she was in Playboy, and she is the First Lady of Professional Wrestling.As far as getting in the ring, that will never, ever happen because she’s a lady, so ta-ta Gail!
Gail says no way because the people came for a fight.  She chases Maria up the ramp, but Jade from the Dollhouse comes out of nowhere and beats the crap out of Gail with some badass martial arts skills before knocking Gail out with her own title belt.  Jade gets a microphone, stands over Gail, and says if she wants a fight, she found one because she’s coming for what’s hers.  Jade holds the belt up, then drapes it over the fallen champion and strolls off to the back.
Eric Young and Bram come out to the ring, and Bram says this place makes him sick because nobody here can drink or fight like real men like EY and himself.  Young says we’re looking at the King of Wrestling, and we’re looking at God.  There isn’t a man on this side of the pond who can beat him, and if anyone thinks they can, to bring a referee down here so they can do it right now.  A big hairy guy from Northern Ireland comes down and says if he’s looking for the toughest guy on this side of the pond, he found him.  Big Damo (as he’s known) asks what he’s going to do about it, and Young slaps him in the face.  Damo responds by dropkicking Young into next week, and the bell rings to start our next match…
King Of The Mountain Title Match: Eric Young vs Big Damo
Damo just pummels the hell out of Young, then slams him and connects with a big leaping senton.  Damo puts his foot on Young’s chest for 2, then stands on Young for another 2 and tries a senton when Young kicks out.  Young rolls out of the way and then hits a neckbreaker before slapping Damo in the head and informing him that he’s a king.  Damo fires up as the fans chant for him, and he just pops Young into the corner, hammers him with more right hands, and connects with an avalance and a fireman’s carry dump and another senton.  Damo with a powerbomb quickly followed by an elbowdrop for 2.  Damo gets Young up in an electric chair, but Young rakes the eyes to escape, hits the ropes, and runs right into a big crossbody from Damo for 2.  Damo gets Young back in the fireman’s carry, but Bram distracts Damo and allows Young to drop into a sunset flip position.  Damo tries another senton, but Young gets the knees up and hits a piledriver for the win.
Winner: Eric Young
That was a lot harder fought than I would have expected when I saw Damo walk out.  Another really impressive debut by a UK talent, I really hope TNA is able to bring these guys stateside in the future.
Drew Galloway is backstage telling Bennett that he knows he’s watching and wants him to pay attention.  He’s been running his mouth and jumping people for weeks, but Bennett picked the wrong guy because he is going to hurt him tonight.  Bennett is going to need the miracle because Drew isn’t just going to pin him, he’s going to make him tap out.
Maria is at the top of the ramp telling the UK that they are broken, and she asks if they believe in the Miracle?
“The Miracle” Mike Bennett vs Drew Galloway
Galloway is a man on a mission, and he goes right after Bennett and beats him senseless the instant he hits the ring.  Maria tries to distract Drew, but he sees a sneak attack from Bennett coming and goes back to destroying him.  Bennett tries a leapfrom out of the corner, and Drew sees that coming too and kicks him in the gut as he comes down.  Bennett tries escaping to the floor, but the ringside fans hold Bennett so Drew can hit a chop and drop him chest first on the guardrail.  Bennett gets some offense in and fires back at Drew, but he charges and gets elevated over Drew’s head and smacks his face on the ringpost.  Bennett is in deep trouble as they go back inside the ring, but he goes right back out to the floor and trips Drew on the apron as he tries to come out after him.  Bennett whips Drew into the ring apron and connects with a series of running Yakuza kicks against the ring apron.  They head back in the ring where Bennett finally builds some momentum with a pair of running clotheslines in the corner and another big boot for 2.  Bennett traps Galloway in a straitjacket submission, and Drew kicks out, but Bennett hits a diving baseball slide kick for 2.  Bennett gets too cute slapping Drew around, and Drew is pissed now.  He fires up and pummels Bennett in the corner with punches and kicks, a charging forearm, and then he comes off the top rope with a clothesline.  He picks Bennett up and goes for the Future Shock DDT, but Bennett gets out and tries a rebound clothesline, and Drew catches him and hits a spinebuster for 2.  Bennett gets his boot up on a charge, and they trade right hands in the middle of the ring.  Bennett gets an Ace Crusher out of nowhere for 2, a short right hand, and he goes for the TKO, but Drew gets out and hits an Air Raid Crash.  Drew is setting up for the Claymore kick, he hits it, but he doesn’t go for a cover.  Instead, he locks Bennett in the iron maiden, but Bennett is close enough to the ropes that Maria is able to put his foot over the bottom rope and force a break.  Drew gets distracted by Maria, and Bennett rolls Drew up with a handful of tights for the cheap win.
Winner: Mike Bennett
Another great match.  This has been a really solid night of wrestling.
Matt Hardy finds Spud backstage and says he needs to be ready so he can make EC3 repent his sins against him.  He reminds Spud that he knocked EC3 out and smashed that chair down on his head, and tells him to finish the job tonight.  Spud yells that he’s going to do it for Matt, and he hurries off to face the challenge.
Grado is…somewhere, and he says when he was young, he dreamed of wrestling in venues like the ones Impact runs.  He finally did that when he got to TNA and he was living his dream, but then something fishy happened at Feast or Fired.  Next week, he’s going to show why he was screwed.
We see a video package hyping Kurt Angle’s retirement match next week against Bobby Lashley, and then it’s time for our streetfight!  Well, almost.  Tyrus attacks EC3 in the back on his way to the ring, but EC3 fights him off and stuffs him in a truck.  Matt Hardy attacks EC3 as well, and EC3 kicks his ass and locks him in the truck with Tyrus before storming off to the ring.  Spud apparently believes EC3 won’t even make it to the ring, and the look on his face when EC3 makes his entrance is priceless.
We come back from commercial as Spud is trying to run up the entry ramp, but EC3 chases Spud, dumps him back down the ramp, and proceeds to take him apart at ringside.  EC3 rams Spud from one guardrail to another and rolls him into the ring, but Spud nails him coming in, chokes him with his shirt, and puts the boots to him in the corner.  EC3 pops right back up and turns Spud inside out with a clothesline.  EC3 boots Spud in the face, bounces him off the corner, and Spud rolls back to the floor.  EC3 goes after him again, but Spud goes to the eyes and gets a steel chair.  He gets a running start, but EC3 gets his boot up and uses it to drive that chair right back into Spud’s face.
They head back in the ring and EC3 is still wielding that chair, but Spud kicks EC3’s knee out, picks up the chair, and launches it right into EC3’s face.  Spud mounts EC3 in the corner and fires some punches, but EC3 just carries Spud out to the middle of the ring and hits a TKO.  Spud tries escaping yet again, but EC3 drags him back to the ring and, in response the the requests of the fans, gets a table out from under the ring and slides it in under the bottom rope.  He takes too long and Spud baseball slides him, then comes off the apron with a running crossbody…but EC3 catches him in midair, presses him over his head, and slams him onto the floor with an audible splat.
EC3 is in the ring and sets up the table as Spud once again tries to crawl back to the entranceway, but once again, EC3 tosses Spud back into the ring.  Spud backpedals while pleading with EC3 to stop, but it’s all a ruse because he kicks EC3 in the ding ding, and the former champ goes down like a ton of bricks.  Spud slaps EC3 in the head over and over, unloads with some punches, but EC3 literally catches Spud’s fist on the last one, picks Spud up, and powerbombs him through the table.  Spud is DEAD, and EC3 appears to have so much adrenalin running through him that he’s ready to explode.  The fans chant to do it one more time, but EC3 wants to send a message to Matt Hardy and traps Spud in the Cobra Clutch with a bodyscissors.  Spud passes out, and EC3 yells at Spud and asks him if he’s happy now as a bunch of TNA officials try to pull him off his fallen foe.  EC3 finally lets the hold go, then holds the EC3 hand signal in Spud’s face as the show comes to a close.
Source: PWInsider

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